Together We Make Mud
by Anzu Fan
Summary: Post Book 1 AU. Borra. Korra loses control of her power and she's not the only one that suffers the consequences. Sometimes unexpected people help us come to terms with the things we've done, and help us hold our shape as the coast can hold the ocean.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Which is fine.

A series of chapters that make my only Legend of Korra story. I'm not branching into the fandom other than for the occasional fic and pic.

AU. Definitely won't follow canon or the second book at all. Rated T for description of a wound and potential character death. Can't give it away. ]Borra, some Makorra. Story will end with Borra. Not to mention I like Borra, so. Makorra folks, you've got plenty of other stuff you can read, so if you don't like Borra, go read that. No hard feelings, jolly good. No anti-ship comments against either side please. No Mako hate either. I'm kind of ambivalent at this point. I'm only posting this fic here because Tumblr folks are interested and it'll all be in once piece at the end. I have no problem with most Makorra shippers; I'm friends/family with several. Let's all act like adults.

Comes from me wondering if there are any Equalists left and what would happen if Korra had to go through some of the trials Aang did. And no one can tell me she'd have complete control of the Avatar state after one try. Very random until next installment, where some things are explained. Much shorter than my other works.

* * *

**Together We Make Mud**

**Brought Low**

_To be the Avatar was to be a god._

She was everything, expanding. Everything was in her, every bending technique, every breath, every shivery pulse on the glacier. They were all in her hands because the Avatar was beyond all mortal things.

_Judge. Jury. Executioner. The Avatar is all these things in her wrath._

The ground fell away, torn by the elements. Her hands seared bright and her hair was torn from its bands.

_Air. Water. Fire. Earth. She was the elements, and time coursing. She was eternal. To be the Avatar was to be immortal, always returning to Earth as the wave crashes down on the coast._

There was only a little earth in the glacier, but it rose with the ice that turned to water and shifted between liquid and solid. The rock had rested in the glacier for hundreds of years, brought up by the only being that could possibly reach it.

"_The Avatar state is never to be used lightly. And now that you can use it, you have to be careful not to lose control of yourself. Once, when my mother was in danger, Avatar Aang lost control and obliterated an earth bending training ground. He was the most peaceable and gentle of all the Avatars. Considering how much more…combative your temperament is, I shudder to think what would happen if you lost control now. You must be careful not to get into a situation where you might get too angry or upset until we focus your power with more training."_

_Tenzin would hear of the glory of the Avatar. She would bring it down with the weight of thunder on the scum that had not known when to give up when Amon was defeated._

"Korra! Stop!" Mako was calling her. "The Equalists can't hurt us now! They want to surrender! They've put down their weapons!"

_Of course they would. Now that they'd seen the power. No. They would face her. How dare they strike and then cower? After their group had been going back to Republic City to seek peace with nonbenders at their request? The filthy hypocrites…they would lie a thousand times to get their chance to strike._

"Losing your head won't help Naga!" The other mounts cried out in fear as the ground cracked.

_They'd attacked. Naga had fallen from the cliff. She'd thrown Korra from her back before she went over. _

_She couldn't look over the edge. Couldn't look over the white glacial side and see a red splatter._

_Amon was gone. The Avatar was present. Equalists would dare to betray her after swearing peace as nonbenders and non-Equalists? They would pay._

Katara was calling now. "You have to stop! You'll obliterate everything!" The old woman turned to Mako, coats billowing. "Get in there and calm her down! I used to be able to get Aang to come out of it! If he could calm down when he lost Appa, she should be able to as well!"

Mako looked at her slightly incredulously before trying to approach, edging towards her. "Korra…stop. Please."

_Do not approach the Avatar, mortal._

_She was fire now. Mako made her fire. She was lava destroying the mountainside, sparks flying off metal, steam rising from the hot springs buried below the ice. He brought out the girl's combative side and made her fight. Fire and water turned to steam, and she soared to new heights in the heat._

He barely redirected a wave of flame. The second one forced him back. She was all Avatar. There was no longer a mortal there, no weak, frail, whiny, selfish girl to hold her back. She was the connection between this world and the other side. Nothing could touch her if she so willed. He was knocked away by air, hitting the snow without a sound.

_A thread of water turned into an icy blade, attacking the nearest Equalist. They were pitiful without Amon to gather them. He managed to duck. The one beyond him was nearly leveled by a shower of stones._

_Naga was innocent. They were after the weak Korra, not her, and had no qualms about killing her to get at the Avatar. They had shocked her and with her last bit of strength she'd bucked Korra out of the saddle. Polar bear dogs were notoriously loyal._

She shut her eyes and the wind was so hard that her skin was tearing. There was no holding back the might.

_She was glorious. Korra was nothing. It was all rage, all Avatar._

_Something had grabbed her. Something heavy, around her waist. Whatever it was dared to touch her? Flames erupted from her palms and streaked over the flesh. It jerked but didn't release. Again she raked her nails across the skin and again it trembled but didn't let go._

"Korra. Stop. You'll kill yourself. The debris…it's hitting you."

Her eyes opened. The Avatar looked down to see…green. The same green as the noodles she liked and Naga would beg for. Deep, earthy, stew green. Like the same noodles she'd once eaten with…

…_Bolin was attempting to quell the wrath of a god?_

Her gaze slid from the green to the thick coat that had been ripped to shreds by the wind and ice. Coat turned to flesh. And flesh turned to…

Red. Open, burnt red. Shiny, bleeding red.

The wrath buckled and the "god" began to fade.

_I'm not a god. The Avatar isn't a god. I'm…me._

Bolin shut his eyes and buried the side of his face against her front. "Wake up Korra. It's Bolin. Stop being so…not-Korra. We've gotta help Naga. She didn't fall…all the way down."

His arms were raw from her flames. Her nails no longer dripped fire as she slowly realized the blood and flesh were peeling back from the seared muscle underneath.

She could see his veins pulse. The front of her shirt was wet with agonized tears and sizzling as the damp evaporated. There was no blood on his arms in the heat.

The tears raged from her eyes and turned to salt.

_What have I done?_

The Avatar state fell away like water. She hit the ground with a thud, legs buckling. Bolin didn't let go, but it was more because he couldn't than anything. The skin around his wound was black and flaking. The muscle looked like Naga's favorite rotisserie snack.

_Why? Why did Bolin come so close? Stupid…so stupid…no one else is stupid enough…_

Korra sat senselessly, hair limp around her face. She was barely aware of Katara pelting over, fast for an old woman, and hitting the ground harder than aging bones should. Mako pulled Korra back, breaking Bolin's grip and lunging for his little brother. Korra lay back in the dead earth, realizing that it was starting to snow again and that there were scratches on her arms where the air and ice had sliced at her and bruises where pebbles had hit. The sound of snow shifting into water and the light of the greatest healer known to water bending flared out of the corner of her eye.

_What have I done?_

Faint, pained baying was carried by the wind. The crunch of boots in the snow of the remaining Equalists fleeing from the benders was nearly carried away.

Naga was alive. Probably hurt. But alive. And Korra couldn't even move.

Bolin whimpered. Katara would try to knit his flesh back together. Korra's eyes welled up with tears and they rolled down her temples and she stared into the sky, unable to move or think save for one, hazy, exhausted thought.

_What have I done?_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Nope. I sadly get no monetary benefit from anything I write.

Well, being stuck at home with my gums throbbing from my wisdom teeth being cut out gives me time. Again, Borra. I'm not a major Korra fanatic, so it's not my main fandom. On we go.

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Lower Still**

"This is serious."

Tenzin rested his head in his hands and stared into his palms. Katara put a hand on his back. "Losing control in the Avatar state has happened to almost every Avatar. It's not unique."

"No. I mean, no, it's not unique. But losing control on that level _is._" Tenzin stood up, taking care not to knock against his mother as he looked instead at the infirmary door. Katara had healed the worst of the damage, but she had agreed that they needed to be watched. Particularly Bolin. "There have only been a handful of Avatars that have exploded like that. Even fewer that nearly killed friends."

"When in that state of rage, the Avatar has no friends. Only their anger. It's why the Avatar has to train so much; they have to transcend their own emotions," Katara said gravely. She looked at her palms and traced imaginary lines in them. "Even outside the Avatar state, that much power can be a terror. Even your father had issues when he was young."

"I know. I know…"

Tenzin listened to nothing. He'd been hoping for Pema to come out of the room but she was still inside, silent. "There's no problem when she chooses to enter it. She has plenty of control then. It's just her emotions-"

"They rule her. I know." Katara took his seat and Tenzin took her hand. "I like Korra. I really do. But she's not Aang. She's more selfish, rasher. She feels things and takes it all to heart. And that is very dangerous for an Avatar."

"It makes for poor air bending as well," Tenzin said miserably. "Of course, that's likely my own fault as well…air bending is naturally more spiritually inclined than the other elements. If you can't meditate, you can't air bend."

The door clicked and Tenzin approached his wife. She looked tired and was readjusting her sleeves. "How are they?" he asked.

Pema's hair was loose from its tie. "Korra is awake and very upset. She won't talk to me or Mako. Mako is with his brother. Bolin…"

She shrugged. "The burns were mostly healed but he's still in pain. There are going to be scars…lots of them. He might have trouble earth bending because they won't be as flexible. But overall, he should be all right."

Tenzin paused long enough to kiss Pema's forehead. "Thank you. I'll talk to Korra first."

"Just as well. Bolin's asleep." He entered the corridor and knocked on Korra's doorframe before shutting the door behind him and approaching her bedside.

She was lying in the sheets and gazing upward. The scratches on her arms and face had been healed and the remainder bandaged and her clothes had been changed, blanket drawn up to her chest. "Korra? How are you feeling?"

Korra lifted her hands and put them over her face. Tenzin sat down in the wooden chair beside her bed, taking in the small warmth of the room. "You should know that Naga's right hind leg was broken and she's got a broken rib or two. But she's going to be all right with some rest. She's whining for you. I think you need to show her you're all right. I'll take you to the pen where they're looking after her whenever you're up to it."

Her fingers tightened. "Where is he?"

Tenzin's tongue rested uncertainly behind his teeth. "Bolin is sleeping in the next room over. Pema said that he's going to make a full recovery. Though there will be a few scars."

"Ngh." It was a hard sound, like she had bitten the inside of her mouth to keep from crying. He reached out and helped her sit up. Instead of looking up at him, Korra buried her face in his side and said in a muffled voice, "I could have killed them. I went crazy. I didn't know the Avatar state could make you crazy."

"Aang lost control several times in his life." Tenzin combed his fingers through her hair as if it were Ikki bawling in his shirt. "You weren't crazy. You were upset…as you had every right to be. We just need to help you control your emotions."

"Tenzin, I would've killed everything if Bolin hadn't stopped me. I might have killed Katara. I didn't know anything except Avatar. I couldn't wake up…" she whispered. "It was like being stuck in the worst nightmare of my life and waking up to realize it was happening. I…I hurt Bolin and I just…I remembered me. But if I hadn't…"

She lifted her head. "If he'd died…it would have been all my fault."

Tenzin, for once, wasn't sure what to say. Should he tell her it wasn't? That wouldn't be the truth. But to let her sit there in so much fear and agony wouldn't help anyone. Her face was red and her cheeks were wet, and her nose was starting to run. Tenzin reached into his robe for a spare cloth or handkerchief. Finding one he patted her cheeks dry and let her take it.

"Korra. The Avatar state is incredibly powerful. Any mortal would be overwhelmed the first few times. And what matters is that no one died. There were injuries but they'll heal. Everyone will be all right given time."

A little clumsy, but it made Korra blow her nose forcefully. She sniffed and gave him back the handkerchief. Tenzin just blinked at it in his hand and lightly slipped his hand around his back so he could drop it out of sight and wipe his palm on the sheet. "I want to see Bolin first. Can I?"

"I think so. Let me ask Pema."

She allowed them a few minutes and Korra reminded him of Ikki yet again as she stayed close to his side. Her hair was a rumpled mess and her bare feet squeaked on the wooden floor when he slid the door open.

Mako was asleep with his head in his palm, slumping over in a chair. Korra didn't even look in his direction; she was staring at the bed. Korra put her fingers to her mouth and blinked, other hand finding Tenzin's sleeve.

Bolin was asleep and his arms were above the sheets, starkly red. "There…will be some scarring," he said at last. "But he should be all right given rest."

Korra took a few steps toward the bed. "Can't Katara heal his arms?" she asked. The burns were the color of Mako's scarf. The spots were shiny and when she saw how dark the skin around it was Korra covered her eyes.

"She's been working on it. The…burns went quite deep. Even a master healer can only do so much in one sitting." Tenzin didn't want to tell her how extensive the damage was.

Korra sat down in the chair by Bolin's bed. His brow was furrowed and his mouth was slightly open, vaguely pained. She tentatively put her hand on the sheets by his arm. "Bolin?"

Mako stirred and looked up at Tenzin. He had a few bruises and cuts but nothing serious. Most had been fixed with water bending. Korra clenched a fist and said again, "Bolin?"

"Korra, don't wake him up. He's hurting," Mako said. His voice was tight and Tenzin could feel the anger radiating from him. Whether it was anger at himself or Korra or even Bolin Tenzin couldn't be sure.

"…'D some'un feed…Pah-booo?"

The slurred words were accompanied by tired eyes opening and sliding around the room. "I think I f'rgot."

Korra's hands retracted to her lap. They balled into fists, gripping her pants, and she rested her heels on the edge of her seat, curled up. "Hey. Pabu's fine. We're worried about you right now," Mako said. As if to prove him right, Pabu appeared on Tenzin's shoulder – he jumped – and scurried down to Bolin's pillow and curled up around his head. "We had to keep him out while they worked on you."

Bolin blinked and his fingers twitched. "Oh. Good. So…what happened? I 'member grabbing Korra and…that's about it."

"I burned you. I nearly killed everyone."

Korra's head bobbed as she spoke, her chin tight against her knees. Bolin looked at her and blinked slowly. Pabu started nibbling on Bolin's hair. "Is Naga…okay?"

"Yeah. Broken leg and ribs but she'll recover. You're the hurt one."

Bolin followed everyone's gaze down to his arms, lifting his head a little to look at them. He was quiet for a few seconds, squinting. "Y'know…that one looks kind of like Republic City on the map."

Tenzin could swear he could hear his own heart in the awkward silence. "What?" Mako asked.

"Right there are the docks…and that one spot is Air Temple Island. And there's the Probending Arena." He relaxed his neck and rested on the pillow again. "Maybe it's just because I'm sleepy. Are they gonna be there forever?"

Tenzin glanced at Korra. Her face was buried in her knees. "…Most likely."

"Will I be able to bend?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Okay. Could be a lot worse, couldn't it?" Bolin tried to smile but Korra lifted her head and her eyes were red, staring.

"This is never going to happen again."

Tenzin nodded. "We'll start your training at once, Korra."

"No. I mean I'm never going Avatar state again."

The sheer stupidity of this statement was positively stunning. Korra wiped her face and stood up. "I'm going to see Naga now. I'll be back in a little bit Bolin."

He watched her as she headed to the door. Mako glanced from her to Tenzin in confusion. "Can she do that?"

"…No. No she can't." Tenzin managed to stop her before she headed out and said, "Korra, you're emotional and tired. You need some rest, and then we'll start your meditation."

"No Tenzin. I'm not doing that again. I've been abusing the Avatar state and I got what I deserved. I won't use it anymore. I'm not as good as the other Avatars; I can't use it right." Korra didn't seem to realize how ridiculous she sounded. She hadn't chosen to go into the Avatar state but she wasn't going to activate it again? Tenzin shook his head; she was never reasonable when she was upset.

"We'll talk about this later. You should go check on Naga right now. She was scaring the attendants last I saw."

Korra didn't look at any of them as she left the room. But beneath the frame she paused and her shoulders convulsed so suddenly that Tenzin put out a hand to steady her. Her muscles trembled and she said quietly, "I'm sorry. I'm_ so_ sorry."

And then she pelted down the hall, too fast to hear them calling after her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Things That Must Be Done**

"Be the leaf."

Wham.

"Be the leaf."

Wham.

"You're not being the leaf. I thought you'd gotten this down already." Tenzin felt a little uncomfortable adding the last part because, frankly, punching and shooting air was not exactly 'getting something down.' But she had at least been doing much better in the training ground and flexibility.

Korra looked at Tenzin and he winced at the bruises on her arms. "Ever since I learned how to use the Avatar state, I've been getting lazy. I haven't trained nearly enough."

She leaped back into the training ground, rigid as a board and was hurled out again by another wooden panel. Tenzin shifted his stance and sent a soft gust toward the spinning devices, slowing them enough that they stopped. Korra didn't move, still sitting on the ground. "We need to talk."

"I told you I'm not going Avatar state again. Ever." She was acting like such a child and Tenzin breathed slowly to calm himself.

"Korra, it's been a month. I know you're still upset, but this has gone far enough. You've had ample time to heal and rest, and…quite frankly, I don't think you'll feel better until you start training yourself and trying to deal with the issue. You can't keep avoiding this."

She flopped onto her back, staring up at the sky. "I need to work on the elements more. I'm a sucky air bender. I bend air like it's a big rock or something. I need to get better."

"That's commendable. But it doesn't change the fact that you have to learn to control the Avatar state. The City Council has heard of what happened, and they were particularly adamant about it." Tenzin crouched beside her. "And your friends are worried about you. You haven't seen them since the accident."

"How can I face them? Face Bolin? After what I did I wouldn't want to talk to me ever again if I were them."

Tenzin absorbed that before saying, "They've tried to contact you several times. Every time they visit you disappear. Bolin has healed very well."

"Doesn't matter. He's gonna have scars forever because of me. And every time I'm around them I remember what I did. And…Mako looks at me like he's nervous around me." Korra sat up and tried to fix her hair; it was falling out of the bands and her fingers kept slipping when she tried to put it back in. Tenzin took the bands and smoothed her hair, tucking it neatly into place.

"You need to talk to them. Don't you owe them that? Asami just dropped by yesterday and left some dog treats for Naga."

Korra's face softened. "That was nice of her." She sighed and stood up. "I know you're right Tenzin. But…something in me is still so scared. I've never lost it like that. What if I'm just wandering around and someone upsets me and then I do it again?"

"Korra, what's really wrong? I know you feel guilty, but this isn't normal. What's bothering you?"

Tenzin got up and folded an arm over her shoulders. She let her head rest on his arm. "Did Aang ever talk about getting swallowed up?"

Her question was so low and sudden that Tenzin said, "What?"

She sighed. "I've been in the Avatar state before and I was in control. I knew who I was. It was just a little bit of bending, a little showy. But when I went into the Avatar state angry…"

He listened intently. "I didn't know who I was. I forgot I was Korra, I forgot everything. I got so mad that I wanted to blow everything away. I didn't know the Avatar got like that."

Tenzin turned with her in the direction of the pen Naga was being held in. It was a short walk and near the water of the bay with several caretakers. It was a peaceful, breezy area and smelled of rocks and salt. He could hear her barking from here. "I've told you Aang lost control in his rage before. He never described the experience to me but he wrote a little about it in some of his journals. Perhaps you'd feel better if you read some of them; we've been collecting writings of the past Avatars here for the sake of future generations. Maybe another Avatar has gone through this."

Korra didn't seem to actively perk up, but she did look at him with some interest. "Yeah…maybe. But I still don't want to use it."

He exhaled deeply through his nose. "Korra, this isn't a matter of what you want to do. You have a responsibility to master your powers to protect the worlds, both mortal and spirit. That means understanding the Avatar state."

Her lower lip tightened but she said nothing; Naga was being kept in a wooden fence, leg bound in a splint. The fence was not very high – about five feet – but Naga was well trained enough to stay inside. Not to mention the broken hind leg made her quite unable to jump. Tenzin could hear the chatter of his children within the pen, and Naga's ears perked as she spotted her mistress. Her tail began to wag and Korra smiled, vaulting over the fence.

"Naga loves the treats Asami brought! We only gave her a couple…dozen," Jinora said. She was holding a burlap bag filled with dried meat nuggets.

"Considering how small they are compared to her," Ikki added. She was sitting between Naga's shoulder blades and rubbing the back of her neck.

"She's gigantic. She makes gigantic poos too. Look in the corner, it's as big as me!" Meelo seemed delighted by this fact and Tenzin cringed when he ran toward the pile, darting after his son.

"Meelo, no, don't play with that!"

Korra snorted and stroked Naga's head. The polar bear dog panted happily, tongue raking over her face and making her hair stand up. Jinora gave the bag to Korra. "She's doing really well. They think another month will see her back on her feet," she said contentedly.

"That's good to hear. I know she appreciates all the attention." Tenzin grabbed Meelo by the back of his shirt and carried him back over, relieved when his son pouted over not being able to reach the intended target.

"I need to go soon. The City Council is having another meeting dealing with some Equalist cases." _And the further training of an emotional Avatar, _he added mentally in regret. Jinora and Ikki crowded around him in a tight hug and Meelo grabbed his arm in a vice grip of affection. He handed the boy to Korra and said, "We'll talk more later. Please don't let him near the…'poo,'" he said.

Korra seemed uncomfortable. Even so, Tenzin turned to leave, listening to the chatter of his children and Korra's silence more than anything.

* * *

"I think it's safe to say that this episode with the Avatar is going to quell any further Equalist strikes for a time. They've lost their leader, they're terrified, and we've got bigger problems."

Sying was relatively new to the council as a temporary Water Tribe representative, but she was colder than Tarrlok and reminded him of Lin…if less fond of himself. Which made her more difficult to persuade and deal with. Her hair was the color of granite and ice and her tanned face was lined after seventy years of water bending training and politics. Her blue eyes narrowed. "Has the Avatar started the training?"

"I was about to start with her. She insists she won't use the Avatar state, but she's still upset." Tenzin glanced down at his hands. "It's going to be meditational in nature, very calming-"

"Forgive me, but I don't think that will be enough." He gave her a sharp look and the woman paced the clean floor. "Avatar Korra is still one of the weakest Avatars on record. Three fourths of her bending is impressive while air bending and her spiritual training are simply terrible. A few hours in a metal box and an impressive element show on a glacier did not change that." Tenzin willed himself to remain still. "Now she has lost control of the Avatar's most powerful weapon and is too cowardly to even try to control it? If that gets out, the Equalists _will _be emboldened."

"She's only a teenager." Sying gave him a long, hard look.

"Your father was hardly thirteen when he defeated Ozai. He mastered the Avatar state at that age and was shunted from teacher to teacher. He didn't have the luxuries she's had. He was a true Avatar. This girl has a great deal left to prove."

Tenzin would have flinched at the anger in her voice. "She defeated Amon. Surely that means something?"

"She threw a lucky hit and he was killed by Councilman Tarrlok. It didn't require any talent." She sat down and although Tenzin disagreed, there was something so passionately pained in her face that he waited. "I don't hate the girl. But the Avatar must represent power and stability. If she doesn't, some other Amon figure will rise up, and then another and another. Benders and nonbenders will tear each other to pieces. She can't sulk like a schoolgirl. Countless lives depend on her."

Tenzin lowered his chin. "In that I can agree, if nothing else. Still, it is worth remembering that this world is not like Avatar Aang's, and Korra is a different person. She has improved over the past several months. She will continue to do so."

Sying sighed. "Fine. But the Avatar state must still be dealt with. She must learn how to use it, how to control it at all times, and above all, master her emotions. Can the training you have in mind accomplish these things?"

Tenzin hesitantly said, "I believe so."

"It seems unfair," murmured the Councilwoman of the Fire Nation. "She's a girl. It must be hard for her."

"Yes. It is hard, I'm sure." Sying rested her chin on her hands and Tenzin noticed that her nails were sharp and painted white. "But she isn't merely a girl. She's the Avatar. A thousand times before she's done this, and she must continue to do it. History is not carved by those that sat down and wouldn't pave the way forward."

There was silence until the Earth Kingdom representative dared to say, "And the Equalist cases?"

"That is even more muddled. It is unfair to expect nonbenders to be unable to defend themselves, but the technology used to block chi…"

Sying shook her head. "It is a pity everyone isn't born a bender and given equal advantage."

"We can't allow the sale of these chi blocking weapons," one of them muttered.

Tenzin stood up. "I think we need to see a few more cases before we can decided on that. Besides…if they aren't sold legally, it's hardly difficult for a nonbender to buy them on the black market."

"We could set a trap," Sying said wearily, "and arrest those who try to buy them. But at the same time I don't fault them. They want to protect themselves and their families. They will not remain passive. This is why it's even more imperative for the Avatar to master herself."

The quiet was uneasy. "Shall we adjourn to another day then? We should do research and consider the cases as they come," Tenzin said. The others agreed and with that the meeting was over. Tenzin was the first to leave the room and once he was out the door he looked over. "What do you think, Lin?"

She was leaning on the wall, eyes shut. "I think Saikan was right. Things are going to get a little worse before they get better."

"I meant about Sying. She's a character."

Tenzin glanced back with some measure of respect and dislike. "She has an issue with Korra. I don't see why."

"Didn't you know?" Lin crossed her arms and started walking. He followed her. "Sying was one of Paku's first female students after Katara. She was an offensive water bender in a culture that recoiled from it. She received a great deal of hatred for it and it made her hard. And she was one of the water benders that oversaw Korra's water bending training. She didn't think Korra was ready to move on years ago. Thought she was too combative, her bending too rash. She was overruled." Her eyes were wry and dark. "As someone who forged a new path in a culture, Korra's entitlement is a slap in the face. Korra's shortcomings confirm her thoughts about not being ready."

"Not to mention everyone's a little nervous right now," Tenzin added. "I wasn't aware of that. Thank you, Lin. I'll be aware next time." She didn't reply and he asked, "Do you agree with her?"

"I think Korra has not proven herself to everyone. I see something strong in her, but it took a lot of time and work. Besides, she gave me my bending back; I'm a little biased." Lin tapped the metal badge that signified her as the Head of Police. "But I understand where Sying is coming from." She paused. "How is the earth bender doing? Bolin?"

"His recovery is admirable. But his arms are less flexible so his bending is a little slower." She seemed disappointed.

"That's too bad. Korra's still…?"

"She refuses to see anyone or go anywhere. I feel like she's not telling me everything."

Oogi was resting outside on the steps. At the sight of Lin and Tenzin he let out a low, echoing noise and nosed Lin. She grunted and patted his nose. "She needs to be kept busy. And she needs to talk to people. Things won't get better until she does."

"I know." He let a gust of air carry him to Oogi's back. "Thank you for the talk, Lin. Korra won't admit it, but she respects you. Maybe you can come by sometime to see her?"

She shrugged. "I'll see."

With a quick, "Yip yip," Tenzin urged Oogi into the air. The wind whirled around Lin, blowing her hair awry. She watched them go without a word as they disappeared into the sky.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Nope. I own none of my fanfic originators. One reason I'm weaning off fan fiction lately. Recall that the story is going to go in a Borra direction. Don't like that, don't read it. It's all good.

* * *

**Conflict**

"Korra! Come on, we need to talk!"

Mako didn't hear anything and continued, "Look, it's been a month! You need to quit acting like this! Everyone's worried about you!"

The window remained empty and the room silent. "Darnit Korra, don't ignore me!"

"Y'know…she's not in there." He jumped, turning to see Jinora with a flying lemur on her shoulder. "She's with Naga right now. I can take you if you want."

"Ah…yeah, that would be great." He'd been calling into an empty room for about five minutes. Awkward. Jinora didn't snort or laugh, taking his sleeve and leading him around the side of the island. The lemur chittered at him and crawled up his arm and sniffed his hair. It then returned to Jinora's shoulder. Mako was relatively used to Pabu doing the same thing, so he only flinched a little.

Naga was snorting and digging in the corner of the pen. He could see her broad white back and the tip of her tail easily, and through the fence he saw the flash of dirty paws. And beyond the dog's tail he saw Korra.

She was moving slowly in an unfamiliar stance. Her limbs seemed to wobble, fingers opening like tentacles and flowing shut. He felt a gust of air and frowned; it was too gentle to do any damage in a fight, not like what she'd done against Amon. He thanked Jinora who trotted away and he then entered the gate of the pen.

Korra was sweating, and she was breathing hard as she spun and bent. She didn't notice him for several moments until she happened to turn and she jumped when she did. A rough gust of air from her feet pushed her into the air and she landed on her behind. "Whoa! Mind warning me next time?" she demanded.

"Sorry. I didn't want to interrupt." Naga sniffed him and wagged her tail once before returning to her digging. The broken leg didn't seem to be an issue as she rooted up sticks and rocks. "Jinora told me you were here. I wanted to see how you were."

Korra's clothes were dirty and she leaned against the fence, crossing her arms. "'M fine. Is…Bolin mad at me?"

"No. He's kind of upset you're avoiding all of us though. And he's not the only one." Mako crossed his arms as well. "Aren't you even going to check on him? You've been taking Tenzin's word for it that he's okay instead of visiting yourself. It's like you're hiding from everyone."

Korra twitched. "I'm just trying to get my powers settled. I was…going to check on him. Eventually."

Mako frowned. "When were you planning on coming by?"

"When I felt like the time was right, okay?" Korra began bending the air again, slowly. "Who are you, my mother?" She seemed to avoid looking at him on purpose, and this was more frustrating than anything.

"Who am I? _Bolin's brother._ And the fact that you haven't come by to see him even once is pretty bad, Korra. Heck, you're my girlfriend; I thought for sure you'd at least care enough about one of us to stop by." His eyes narrowed and Korra stiffened, whirling around.

"I do care! You don't get it. I'm just trying to get my powers under control so I won't do that again! Once I do I'll visit you guys. Besides, someone from the City Council is coming tomorrow, so I have to get this tonight. So I don't need any distractions." Korra stopped trying to air bend, instead heading to the corner to pick up the rake used to scoot Naga's excrement outside the pen. Mako sighed and approached, reaching for the tool.

"Let me do it, you're tired-"

"I can do it myself. Naga's my responsibility, I'll take care of her. I don't need help to do that." Her terse words stung somehow.

"You know what? Fine. That's just fine. Keep pushing everyone back and pretending you're some tough Avatar even though you're too scared to even leave the island lately. Go ahead, be that way." He turned around and wrenched open the gate. "I thought we'd already said we were Team Avatar. We didn't turn our backs on you. Why are you turning your back on us?"

Naga barked as he left and Korra quieted her by putting her hand on Naga's muzzle. Her forehead came to rest on the dog's neck and she mumbled, "I'm not. I'm really not."

She sniffed and rubbed her face on Naga's fur. She always ended up arguing with Mako…why could she just be calm around him? Everything was sparks and fighting around him. It was never quiet and calm, even if the argument was held below the surface.

"Naga…I've got to learn how to control the Avatar state. But what if I can't? What if I…hurt someone else? What if I can't keep myself from going into it?"

Korra's fingers clenched in the thick whiteness and Naga whined, bumping her mistress with her cold, wet nose. "I'm scared. It's not like being scared of Amon now. It's worse because I'm scared of me. And there's no getting away from me, no matter how far I go."

* * *

"Who's a big, bouncy boy? That's right; you are! Yes you are!"

Jinora knocked on the doorframe, smiling when she heard her dad suddenly cease his baby-talk. "Come in," he said, and his voice shifted abruptly to the calm, careful tones she associated with peace. Peeking around the wooden wall, Jinora giggled; Tenzin had baby Rowan in his lap, one knee still bouncing gently. The baby cackled and clapped, clothed only in a diaper cloth and an orange nightshirt. "Jinora. You should be in bed already."

"So should the baby," she said, not disrespectfully. He smiled, eyes crinkling.

"True. Did you want to talk about something?"

"Just wanted to say goodnight. Are you going to be busy tomorrow?"

Rowan burbled when Jinora took Tenzin's other knee. "I'm afraid so. Sying is going to come see Korra and look over what I've planned for her training. I don't think it's going to go well, all things considered."

"You said Sying doesn't like Korra." Jinora tickled the baby's foot and he squealed.

"I went off of what Lin told me and discovered a few more things. Her real name is Kaneka. She was originally a woman of some importance in the Northern Water Tribe – a noble of sorts – but when she decided to study offensive water bending under Paku, her family stripped her of her status, _and _her original name. Over time the Northern Water Tribe became more accepting, but in those early years it was probably very difficult for her. She renamed herself a non-traditional Water Tribe name to distance herself from the tribe."

Jinora frowned. "Why did they do that?"

"Because traditionally women didn't fight with water bending. They only healed. It was very strange for the people to accept that women would be allowed to fight." Tenzin stroked her hair and she crossed her arms.

"That's not fair. If a girl can fight, she should be able to," she said stoutly.

"That's the way we believe…although avoiding fighting is always best," he added pointedly. Abashed, Jinora blushed and nodded. "You have to understand that the past generations have changed rapidly, and some old beliefs are still around. And even if they're going away, they affect how people think. Sying was probably very hurt all those years ago, and it's made her very defensive. It's just unfortunate that Korra is likely going to receive more anger than she should."

Jinora leaned on Tenzin, still fiddling with the baby's toes. He was getting big and chunky, just like Ikki had. "I guess you were just trying to understand your enemy, like Avatar Aang taught?"

He nodded and she sensed pride in the way he stroked her hair. "Sying's not exactly an enemy, but she's not a friend. You're right that I wanted to know what she was thinking. I'm worried about how she and Korra will interact."

"Yeah. Korra can be kind of a hothead, huh?"

Tenzin laughed. "I'm afraid so. It'll be interesting to play mediator."

He stood up and carried both his daughter and the baby out the door, heading toward the nursery first. "I could come and help you. Maybe they'll behave better around innocent, impressionable children," she said.

"We can only hope." He still looked distracted but Jinora left him to his thoughts now. She'd hoped that with the defeat of Amon he'd have more time to rest, but Jinora was beginning to realize just how much her father did, during war and peace times. She leaned on his shoulder and was content to smell his Daddy smell, that smell that was a little bit like clothes, baby soaps and the tea they had at meals.

The baby was settled in and seemed content to be tucked in. Jinora waited until they were heading toward the room she shared with Ikki before she said, "Mako came to visit Korra. They argued. I listened."

"Eavesdropping? Well, I suppose it's understandable." She shut her eyes against the lamplight when he opened the door and he snorted; Ikki was in bed with her behind up in the air, as if she'd plopped in and gone to sleep instantly. Tenzin put her down and arranged Ikki more comfortably, tucking the blanket around her. He knelt and extended his arms to Jinora, and she hugged him around the neck. "Things are a little difficult right now dear. But they'll get better. Avatar Aang always said if we do our best, situations improve." He sighed. "He always inspired hope."

"Do you miss him a lot, Daddy?"

Pausing, Tenzin looked at her and Jinora felt shy at his gray, gentle eyes. "All the time, Jinora. Of course, he's here in Korra. But it would be nice to talk to him, just him, sometimes. He always seemed to know what to do."

Imagining life without her dad made Jinora shut her eyes and hug him tighter. "You do too, Daddy. You always know what's best. It'll work out with Korra and everybody, just like you said."

"I hope you're right. Sometimes I'm not sure what I'm doing," he admitted. Giving her a kiss on the forehead, Tenzin stood up. "I have to finish a few things. Would you like me to tuck you in?"

"No, I can do it. 'Night, Daddy." He left and Jinora watched him go before changing into her nightclothes and climbing into bed. It took a while for her to fall asleep, thinking of a faceless, icy woman and Korra huddled against Naga.

* * *

Bolin bent his right arm, ignoring the tightening of the scar and the slight pain that came with it. He stuck his jaw out and turned, motions sturdy. The weights lifted and flew toward the wall across from him, and with a swift clench of his fist he stopped them just before they hit the wall. Both hit the ground gently and he darted across the room, squinting at the wall. There were several cracks and indentations in it.

He grinned. "Sweet. I'm getting my control back. No new cracks," he said. Pabu put his paws on the wall beneath Bolin's hands and patted it. "Yeah, I know, fix it before Bro gets back." He smoothed his palm over the spot and the cracks mended, molding together and flattening. Pabu clapped and Bolin picked him up, setting him on his head. Glancing at his arms, Bolin wrinkled his nose.

"Yep. Still looks like Republic City." The burns had faded, leaving scar tissue. They were pretty ugly, but Bolin reasoned that his bending was recovering and everyone was alive; it could be a lot worse. Not everyone had a run in with the Avatar state and lived to tell about it.

Pabu clambered down to his forearms and forlornly licked the scars. "Aw, don't worry Pabu. It'll be okay. Want to split a dumpling with me? I wrapped up Mako's and put them on the fire to cook." He tugged the front of his shirt to let get rid of the sweaty feeling as Pabu jumped to the plate sitting on Bolin's bed. The room was rather small, but until the pro bending arena was fixed and the apartments rebuilt, it was what they had.

Tenzin had offered to let them stay on the island, but Mako had refused. Bolin still wasn't sure why. Maybe it had something to do with the accident, although that seemed silly. Korra had gotten upset. Everyone did it. Heck, Mako did it all the time. Well, minus the potentially lethal fire bending. Nobody but Korra did that.

Thinking on it, Bolin realized it was very possible that Mako didn't want him around Korra while he healed. But whether it was because he was worried about Korra or Bolin, he couldn't be sure.

The door opened and Mako stepped through, shutting it irritably. "You're back. How is she?" Bolin asked. Mako sat down on his bed – across from Bolin's – and planted his elbows on his knees.

"Stubborn. And being dumb. She didn't say when she'd come by, and Jinora had to show me where she was." His face set in frustration. "Tenzin says she's too scared to go into the Avatar state. I don't get it. She was never so cowardly before. Who knows when she'll get back to normal?"

Bolin frowned. Instead of replying, though, he gave Mako his portion of the dumplings and waited for his brother to fall asleep, brow lined and breath tired.

Then he switched out of his dirty clothes and pulled on new breeches and a long-sleeved shirt. It was itchy and uncomfortable on the scars, but the last thing he wanted to do was upset Korra with the sight of them. Pabu climbed into the collar of the shirt and curled around his neck, and Bolin scrawled a quick note for his brother. Leaving it by his brother's bed, Bolin quietly crept out of the apartment into the street.

If he asked one of the Lotus Guards he'd probably be allowed across the bay. Hopefully. Ignoring the dirty streets and gutter, Bolin set out for the docks, jogging through the empty roads.


End file.
